Tag Archives: A Belle in Brooklyn

Reed Between the Lines

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Not sure if I’ve been very clear about this in the past but, just in case I haven’t, I want to be very clear about it right now: I love me some Tracee Ellis Ross. As in, I will watch marathon after marathon of Girlfriends reruns on BET and Centric just to get my Joan/Tracee fix. The woman is a beautiful comedic genius – hard to come across in general, but especially in the black community.
So, with the buzz surrounding the new BET series, Reed Between The Lines, I was thrilled and excited for the return of my #girlcrush to the boob tube. Tracee plays Dr. Carla Reed, a psychologist with what seems to be a thriving practice and a super handsome hubby in NYU English professor, Dr. Alex Reed. Alex is played by Malcolm-Jamal Warner of Cosby Show Fame where he played heartthrob, Theo.
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The show is pretty incredible for BET programming. It’s very exciting to watch BET resurface as a hub for black folks promoting several exciting shows (either re-signed or brand new). Most importantly, it’s exciting to see a show like Reed Between The Lines take primetime on Tuesday night.
I once wrote that Demetria Lucas’s book, A Belle In Brooklyn, was the perfect outlet for a bougie girl like me. I feel the same exact way about Reed Between The Lines. It’s a wonderfully positive representation of successful black people in a super happy marriage. That said, the show is a very realistic take on life with Carla, a former single mother of twins who is still dealing with her ex-files*. She shares an adorable 7-year-old with her main squeeze. The show chronicles the daily trials of two working professionals, raising children, and keeping their marriage fruitful.
The most exciting bit about the show is the fact that I feel like we’re receiving Cosby Show lessons for a 2011 audience. It’s not entirely coincidence that the Reeds home seems to carry echoes of the Cosby’s. Warner notes in an interview with BET: That was definitely the mold we were going for. When you look at the history of Black sitcoms throughout the course of television I think, for the most part, they kind of all fit around the same category. But when you look at The Cosby Show — that fits into a category all in itself. From the onset, we’ve been pretty clear that we’re trying to go for that other category.  

I’m excited to go on the journey with the Reed family. The first two episodes aired in a double header tonight, and they lived up to the hype. I can honestly say my Tuesday evening television line up now includes Reed Between The Lines for as long as it’s on the air.

Book Review: A Belle in Brooklyn

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I consider myself a rare breed.

I’m an African American twenty-something woman who grew up in the suburbs of Boston. Though I currently live in NYC, my roots (no matter how bougie I may have become) are what made me, and I hold tight to those.

In looking for things to relate to, I found there was a wide gap between Sex & the City and Girlfriends. This gap also exists between Teri McMillian and Jeannette Walls. I was searching for someone like me represented in media and she was nowhere to be found.

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…Until my friend introduced me to Demetria Lucas. The blogger turned magazine editor turned author recently released A Belle in Brooklyn (of the same title as her award winning blog). Incredibly well written, this memoir takes you on a journey of Demetria’s life and experiences in NYC, Atlanta, California, and more. With each chapter reading like the beautiful prose found in some short stories, you can’t help but power through the book. As a person who prefers to read during her commute, I found myself laughing at her humor, nearly crying at her experiences, and often cringing at her honesty. Any book that results in that sort of real-life emoting is what I would categorize as a great read.

Recommended for every-woman (and every-man), I think it’s impossible for anyone not to gather some sort of great takeaway from this novel. If you’re looking to live vicariously through the chapters of her crazy single life attending industry parties and awkward dinners with Shug: you win. If you’re looking for life lessons on how to “Live Your Best Singe Life”: you win. If you, like me, are looking for a middle ground media figure to relate to: you win.

But most importantly, I’m realizing how necessary it is to surround yourself with successful role models constantly on their grind. Demetria has made her journey extremely accessible to those searching for that too. So you also win.

A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to-Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life is available in stores and online.

Article first published as Book Review: A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life by Demetria Lucas on Blogcritics.

A Visual Liar?

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The chapter* starts like this:

[Devin] told me about a woman he met at the club. She wore a long (good) weave, a tight dress, makeup, and high heels. In a relatively sober state, Devin exchanged numbers with her early in the night. The next week, they talked on the phone, and he deduced she was “cool.” When he finally met up with her for drinks at Ava Lounge on the rooftop of the Dream hotel, she had on flats, her hair pulled back, a cute casual shirt and jeans and was wearing little makeup. She’d just come from the office. They hung out for the night, but he never called her again.
“She was a visual liar,” he explained.

A visual liar? I thought to myself… this can’t be real.

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So, I went about constructing my own Male Mind Squad (a group of men who form Demetria Lucas’ sounding board), expect it’s much smaller and will from here on out be called my Male Choir. Well… It’s actually a (well rounded) Male Duo of just just Du and Jah but the sentiment is the same.

Over hookah, I laid out the scene above, but added my own embellishments (black girl bun, boring jeans and a t), and waited for Du’s response.

“Just be prepared to know you (aka women) would be taking a huge L.” No further explanation. Just plain and clear.

Damn. Really? I couldn’t understand! I love to get dressed up on a Saturday night, but also enjoy a cold beer in jeans and a tee for Wednesday happy hour. Is this mesh of “lives” really such a huge faux paux?

I later took this question to Jah, who said “Everyone is guilty of going a little further and doing a little extras to make an impression on a significant other. It’s natural to want to look good and do things that will possibly ensure your date goes well and that it leads to a relationship of some sort… But can you imagine going to sleep next to a princess and waking up next to a mud duck? It’s not okay.”

Now this is why I love my budding male chorus – blunt, honest, and to the point.

Both Jah and Du agreed that there’s a time and a place for the jeans-and-t girl, and the little-black-dress girl. What’s even better? “A girl that can switch it up and still catch my attention. I like heels, flats, sneakers, jeans, leggings, skirts, and dresses. There is definitely room for both in my opinion.”

It seems like there’s a balance that needs to be found between wanting to impress and wanted to realistically find & keep someone. After hashing it out with my boys, I decided to  to the big guns, Jamie, Editor of the super cool online magazine for guys entitled Dude Society. If Jah and Dushane are my chorus (read: duo), then Jamie is the conductor. He doles out the following tips/things to consider for those looking to meet their future mate:

On meeting people: For men and women, if you are looking for a relationship, the chances of meeting that person when you’re “going out” for the night to a bar, or club, or where ever, is slim. It’s loud, it’s crowded, & people are putting on an act. So, if you meet a dude in this context, even if a date is arranged, the chance of it panning out is really a roll of the dice.

On staying true: Yes, there are some dudes who like women who are caked in makeup and a bunch of other crap, but most women probably aren’t looking for that guy. In my opinion, when you are dressing up to go out, put on the dress and the shoes, and a little makeup… but make sure it’s not covering up who you are.

On where to meet them: I believe, in reality, most women (and probably men too) would rather meet someone in day-to-day life. Make a joke and start talking in an elevator, ask a guy to help you pick the best fruit at the grocery store, offer a woman your seat on the train/bus… simple things that we all do. We’d all much rather tell the story of “the most awesome girl/guy we met at the store who was really funny” as opposed to “the guy I gave my number to who was trying to dry-bang me on the dance floor in between downing beers.” {Is there anyone out there who doesn’t agree with this?}

On preference: In terms of what look men prefer… this is totally subjective and contextual. I don’t like women who totally overdo it with makeup, but at the same time I don’t like frumpy looking chicks either. {A much nicer way of referring to those “mud ducks” referenced above}.

My takeaway is this – stay true to you, stay open and honest, and feel free to switch it up.

What about you? Any misleading experiences with women or unfortunate dates with disappointed men?

* Excerpt from the chapter entitled, “Deal Breakers” in A Belle in Brooklyn by Demetria Lucas.

iCovet Fridays, v.3

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Here’s what I’m coveting this week:

90′s Music

I blame this on Something Borrowed, which features a scene with a great 90′s cover band playing some of my absolute favorite childhood songs. Since seeing the movie (and listening to Hey Jealousy and Hows it Going to Be on repeat), I’ve spent way too much of my free time (read: the few minutes between when I finish work and pass out) googling “top songs of the 90′s” and taking trips down memory lane.

Dates with the Girls

[Yeslan, Margaret (aka Maggie) and myself]

We don’t really have the chance to do it often enough because of what I like to call “growing pains” but dates with the girls make my life feel fuller. There’s nothing like Margaret’s work stories (oh hey Maggie!), Yeslan’s to-the-point questions, Laura’s budgets, Larissa’s side eyes, and Allie’s vino. Side note for my girls: we need to do better at group pictures. #Wompwomp.

Pinterest

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Entirely obsessed. Entirely. Pinterest is a “virtual pinboard” and community where people collect images across the web that are inspiring, amusing, or just a little weird. If you can’t tell by the ruffles and flowers, my collections tend to be on the girly side. Looking to join? Leave a comment with your email for an invite!

Whats on you coveting this week?

Saturday with Belle

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On Saturday, May 7th, I attended the first ever Rising Affluent Conference with my girl, Larissa. Since the two of us are working on a project (which will be announced at a later date) we decided to take advantage of this day of advancement and achievement. How did we find out? A Belle in Brooklyn, of course.

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Larissa introduced me to Belle (government name: Demetria Lucas) a while ago as a writer and blogger to watch. Bonus? She’s a bougie black girl who loves a Louis and some fierce shoes. Of course I was hooked.

I immediately started following Belle on twitter, and going through back entries of her blog. I checked out her features on Essence (which was incredibly tolling as she publishes the hot man of the month) and became a literary groupie. You see, Belle’s career – it’s exactly what I’d hoped for myself in moving to New York City. My pathway has been a bit bumpy on the way there, but people like her remind people like me that anything is attainable.

So, enter the Rising Affluent Conference. Larissa and I are sitting at a full table of very nice women, networking and such, when a girl comes over and mumbles something I can’t hear. I turn to Larissa and raise my eyebrows like what? as her eyes start growing exponentially. “Belle… is … reading… from …” she stammers and before she can finish her sentence we’ve both jumped out our chairs. Suddenly we realize it’s rude to leave without saying goodbye to the women at our table so we mumble something about Belle giving a reading upstairs and they all seem to follow suit.

You see, the announcement was slightly premature, and poor Belle had an audience of people watching her as she tried to find a place for the print of her gorgeous book cover. I watch her as she gives the nicest side eye I’ve ever seen to the camera man, who places the print on a chair, and then smile at the Conference director, who brings in an easel. As someone working in events, I smile too.

She begins shortly after that, introducing herself as Demetria but I can only think of her as Belle. She talks of her inspiration and this is where I melt into a puddle of excitement because it’s full of things I can relate to (especially the bit about Waiting to Exhale. Black girls, if you haven’t read this, please find it immediately).

An avid Sex & The City fan, she notes she was always waiting for their fierce black girlfriend to pop into the picture with a storyline rivaling everyone else’s. She never really could get into Girlfriends the same way and neither could I. As much as I love Toni, Lynn, Maya and Joan; they really can’t stand up to our beloved Miranda, Charlotte, Samantha and Carrie. She wanted to bring the voice of that black girlfriend we missed to fruition… so she wrote. Here she is now, with a book deal signed, her first piece (entitled A Belle in Brooklyn, The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life) completed, and her second piece in the works. She’s an inspiration.

Belle read from a chapter entitled “My Father Called Me a Party Girl”. She read the piece from her iPad, which blinked away with every awestruck tweet from the girls in the room, reacting to the piece, or just her presence. When she finished her reading, which spoke of “Black Melrose” (aka DeKalb Avenue in Brooklyn), her party girl past, and blood orange margaritas; I vowed never to let a day go by that I didn’t chase my dream and have fun doing it.

I had the opportunity to ask one question: “Hi Belle (oops, I guess I meant Demetria), my name is Maiah Johnson and you’re an inspiration!” I stammered. “I’m just wondering how you keep it all balanced? You know, the blog, and your book, and your full time job ’cause you have to pay rent…”

She smiled graciously, “oh, balancing all this? Trust me, the rent is paid.”

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